Exercise: Finding your Core Relationship Values
Here’s a short journaling exercise you can complete either solo or partnered to reflect on your core values and how they fit into your relationships.
Time: 20min (individual), 30min (partnered)
Materials: A journal or piece of paper, pen or pencil. Use a computer if you must.
Method:
Set a timer for 20 minutes. Turn off your notifications and find a quiet place to write. If you’re doing this reflection with a partner, have them find somewhere private and complete this part independently.
{5min}- Write down words that come to mind when you think of your Core Relationship Values. Group them in any way you wish- you’re brainstorming! You may want to look at this list before you start for some ideas. Try to focus on character traits, but feel free to include favorite kinks or erotic preferences if they’re important to you.
{5min}- Narrow down your list to just your top 5 values. This can be harder than it sounds.
{10min} Review the words you circled. How do they show up in your current relationship? How would you change your current relationship to align more closely with your values? What are you willing to compromise on?
{10-15min} If you completed this with partners, compare your values and discuss any similarities or differences. Does the structure of your relationship fit with your core values? If not, why? What stories or assumptions are shaping your interactions?
