Exercise: Developing Your BDSM Risk Profile
As I wrote in a recent article about my own RACK profile, for me, being ‘risk aware’ involves more than just the physical.
Below is a handy, follow-along exercise to help you identify possible physical, psychological, and emotional risks that may impact the way you play. Risk management is SEXY, people!
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How to Build Your BDSM Risk Profile
Time: 30min
Materials: A blank piece of paper, a writing utensil, red, yellow, and green pens (for style points)
Step 1: Physical Risks
These are the risks people normally think about when I start bringing out my impact toys. Try to think beyond acute injury— what are the possible long-term impacts of dealing with bruising, swelling, nerve damage, or infection in your day to day life? Are you prepared to handle physical injury and pain after the session ends?
Prompt: List activities you’re curious about (e.g., spanking, rope, wax play). For each, note:
Possible risks (bruising, burns, circulation issues)
Your current knowledge/skill level (beginner, practiced, expert)
Safety tools or knowledge you’d need (aftercare supplies, anatomy resources, safe words)
Example: Rope bondage – risk: nerve damage, falling skill: beginner, need: learn ties that avoid joints, safety shears, water and a blanket
Step 2: Psychological Risks
Psychological risks usually have to do with trauma. For instance, I can’t handle verbal degradation about my eating habits; it just hits too close to home. There is a fine line between “productively challenging” and “psychologically damaging.” Take care of your mind the same way you take care of your body! The more you become aware of your psychological boundaries, the easier it will be to tend to your mental health.
Prompt: Reflect on how certain play styles interact with your mental landscape. Divide into three zones:
Green (safe & exciting): “Verbal praise energizes me.”
Yellow (handle with caution): “Degradation feels hot, but could stir up old self-esteem wounds.”
Red (hard no): “No roleplay involving medical themes.”
This mirrors what psychologists call risk appraisal: balancing curiosity with mental wellbeing.
Step 3: Emotional Risks
Emotion is the mental response to either a physical stimulus (kink) or psychological stimulus (dynamic/power play). A BDSM scene is often an emotional rollercoaster, and neglecting these risks can lead to feelings of isolation, guilt, and shame. Aftercare is essential to managing emotional risk and is a core topic of pre-scene discussion.
Prompt: Write down what helps you feel supported before, during, and after play. Consider:
What helps me enter a scene? (music, grounding presence, firm touch?)
What do I need for aftercare? (a hug, lots of space, reassurance, gentle stroking?)
What leaves me feeling unsafe or abandoned?
Research on routines shows that consistency improves emotional resilience and reduces anxiety—aftercare works the same way. The more you explore, the more you’ll hone in on an aftercare routine that returns you back to baseline and keeps play sustainable.
Step 4: Prepare to Communicate!
And now, the scary part! In our culture, communicating our desires and boundaries often feels awkward and unnatural. However, according to a 2019 meta-analysis, sexual communication is positively correlated with both desire (how ‘turned on’ someone feels) AND arousal (how hard and/or wet they get), regardless of gender or genitals. In other words, the more you talk about it, the hotter it is!
Prompt: Draft three “scripts” you could use in negotiation:
Before play: “Here are my green, yellow, and red zones.”
During play: “Yellow—I need you to ease up.”
After play: “Can we check in tomorrow to debrief?”
When I was first starting out as a ProDomme, I’d go for walks on the beach and talk dirty to the jellyfish. Don’t be afraid to get silly— if you can describe your fetishes to yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth, you can do it in the heat of the moment with a partner.
Step 5: Revisit & Revise
Your BDSM risk profile isn’t static. Each time you explore, add notes: What worked? What didn’t? What surprised you? Think of it as an ever evolving user-manual for your sexuality— it pays to know how to push your buttons!
Have any feedback? Want to share something that surprised you about your risk profile? Submit a contact form and ask to be featured in this months’ Community Spotlight!
Play smart, loves.
